This is the first day of Susan’s vacation. She wanted to take a train trip to Xian to see the Terracotta Warriors and we live in Beijing. We don’t speak Chinese and I suggested she take someone who speaks Chinese with her. Susan took me up on the offer and our Pastor’s wife (Jean) and our friend Eva were happy to accompany her. They went during the Chinese New Year break, because Sis Jean works in a school and Eva is a Nanny. That is how I wound up at home alone for a week.
Susan made sure I had clothes and food and I have the same things to fill my time as if she were here. I have a lengthy Korean historical drama to watch, exclusive use of the computer, and I can take a nap whenever I want.
It felt different the minute Susan left our apartment. We have been apart before because of my work and the same lonely feeling returned. If she had been here I would have been irritated when she called me to do something for her. I would have to wait for her to get off the computer so I could use it and my nap would have been scheduled around Susan watching TV. We even watch TV in separate rooms because she watches her Filipino programs and I watch programs in English or my videos. Even with all of that, it would be nice to know she is there.
That is similar to the feeling I have about JESUS. He is there to care for me even if I don’t notice what He is doing. It can be irritating when He asks me to do something for Him. I may have to wait for Him to finish doing something, so I can do what I want. I may even be doing my own thing while He is nearby doing something I don’t fully understand, but it is nice to know He is there.
Even I have many things I want to do, I don’t want to do anything without Him close by. When I find myself where He isn’t, I feel the longing to get back to where He is. The place where JESUS isn’t is in sin, but I can find Him in repentance and obedience.
Wayne Lance (2015)