Love is Painful –
Only the people you really love can really hurt you. I’m not talking about your first crush and broken heart, but that is heading in the right direction. How can someone hurt you if you don’t care about them? When I was growing up, my love was shallow and so was the pain of rejection. Yes, I wanted to make friends and belong to the group, but if they didn’t like me, I looked elsewhere.
Family was my first source of love and potential pain. My parents loved me and showed me enough to seal the deal in my young mind. I’ve heard of kids being rejected by parents and the pain it caused. My brothers and I fought like cats and dogs when we were young. If my brother got punished, I was glad it wasn’t me. It wasn’t until we got older that it hurt me to see them going through trouble.
When I got married, I began to learn what real love is. I couldn’t just go on to someone else at the first sign of trouble. Anger and harsh words cut to the heart. We had to work out our relationship and all that came with it. As our love matured, I realized it wasn’t all about me. When she was in pain, I was in pain also. Her problems were mine too. We don’t always get it right, but after 38 years our percentages are improving.
Another opportunity for love and pain came along when our daughter was born. She was such a blessing and we didn’t want anything to happen to our baby. We protected her as best we could and wiped away her tears when we couldn’t. We didn’t want her to learn life the hard way. That worked until she decided we didn’t have all the answers. That hurt us a lot, because she had to go through the school of hard knocks on her own. We were there to help, but she didn’t always let us.
When she got married and had children of her own, her pain increased, along with the blessings. We love our grandchildren, but they can be a handful. I love my grandson dearly, but he doesn’t always accept the lessons I try to teach him. He thinks he knows better and won’t let me keep him out of trouble. Why don’t I leave him alone? I love him. I don’t want him to suffer the serious consequences. The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6 KJV). I am trying to follow that.
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). His love caused Him a lot of pain, but He didn’t want us to suffer more serious consequences. “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 KJV). He wants to keep us from pain and give us eternal life. He did His part. If we don’t accept Him, we will suffer the pain His love couldn’t keep us from.
Wayne Lance (2017)