You got me! I’m not perfect and won’t be until I leave this mortal body. I have made mistakes and have unknowingly hurt many people. Add to that the ones I know I hurt and the few I intentionally hurt and the list of my offenses becomes pretty long.
My family moved a lot when I was young, so I had no long-term friends. After my parents divorced, I went into the Foster Care system (government) and I was shuffled between families and schools. That made me rather shy and made it hard for me to make friends. Somewhere along the way I picked up a sense of humor. I may have gotten it from the old Hollywood movies I used to fill my time with or the books I loved so much. I used it to break the ice and start a conversation with strangers. Later on in the military, my humor picked up a sarcastic tone, I called it my G. I. humor. It was kind of like rough teasing. It wasn’t meant to hurt (much), but gave me a way to get along with people I had nothing in common with.
When I got married, my humor was often a point of contention with my Filipina wife. She saw my teasing as insulting or putting her down. I didn’t mean to, but I caused her needless pain. While living in the Philippines, many of my jokes were directed at the way Filipinos spoke, lived or ran their country. I didn’t realize how I was hurting the people I cared about.
As I lived and worked around the world, I am sure I have hurt others with my careless humor. Most of the time I was unaware I had offended anyone. Sometimes I saw their reaction and said I’m sorry or tried to correct my error. There were times I either couldn’t or was unwilling to make things right. Living and working in different cultures can excuse some of my failures, or not knowing what to do might let me off the hook. For the offenses I knew about and didn’t try to correct, I was wrong. Now my apologies can’t reach everyone I have hurt.
Why does it matter? Shouldn’t they just “get over it” and move on? Unfortunately we can’t control other people’s reactions. We need to show them love. When asked for the greatest commandment, Jesus replied, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God… And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Mat 22:37-39 KJV). When asked who my neighbor is, JESUS gave the example of a Samaritan helping a Jewish man he didn’t know. That removed cultural and religious excuses and added action to our “love” command.
I apologize to those I have needlessly hurt, but I won’t apologize to all I have offended. I won’t apologize for trying to show you love. I’m not sorry for trying to point you to JESUS. In fact, I will show love and offend many more before I am finished. I am sorry for not doing a better job, but my heart was right. I won’t apologize for trying to share my humor, because “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Prov 17:22 KJV). I won’t apologize for sharing my Good News stories that give the HOLY SPIRIT time to correct me, before I share my heart. I’m not sorry for telling you “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16 KJV). If you accept JESUS, you won’t be sorry either. You might decide to offend a few people yourself.
Wayne Lance